day vs. life (#_212)

like many „Gurus“, once in a while I write down my perfect day.

Then, it looks very much like this:

a) get up before everybode else (mostly at 5 a.m.)
b) stretch some minutes
c) get a cup of coffee and a big glas of water
d) read for 1-2 hours
e) write for 1-2 hours
f) go for a walk with the dog
g) run for 30 Minutes
h) swim for 30 Minutes
i) row for 30 Minutes
j) prepare breakfast for my wife and our 3 Kids
k) meditate
l) journaling
m) work
n) play
o) …

as you see: my perfect day is hard to achieve.
Much more likely is it, that I will fail.

My perfect day looks like that crazy aunt from overseas that, very rarely shows up with utopian stories and presents from their thrilling adventures. Despite our wishes, she only visits us rarely and at random times and she never stays for as long as we would like her to.

So I come up with the question: „why spend 360 out of 365 days a year failing in order to make some days conform to my ideal and perfect day?

The problem: our perfect day (in our imagination) stays in perfect shape as long as it only shows up once in a while. If every day was “our perfect day” it would immediate become just another day of our ordinary life. Then, we should quickly come up with some new fantasies to take its place.

So much for the perfect day. But what of the perfect life?

If I search for „Life Plan“ or „purpose“ or so in my Evernote Account, I will find a couple of them. Some old and some newer ones.

Each of them are different.

At age eighteen I had other plans than at age thirty or today (42).

Eigtheen:

a) Earn a million dollars
b) Travel the world
c) party every night
d) work less
e) start a company
f) do sport every day

My plan, at the time, felt cool and unique. But in retrospect, I was just what everybody tells you: (a) imagine your ideal future and (b) create a plan to get you there.

immediately after I has written down the „18 list“…

a) my car accident happened and sport was forbidden
b) I has to quit my job at the armed forces
c) I went back to school
d) …

„Life is what happens to you while you are making plans.“

Of course, a couple of years later, I did exactely the opposite:

a) I worked out nearly every day
b) I headet to work for some of the biggest companies in Germany
c) I married my great wife
d) I settlet down

To re-emphasize, my keypoint to realize is, that there is no „perfection in life“. The idea of perfection is incoherent.

We, as animals, are full of contradicting needs, visions and desires that the idea of a perfect life is something that can only exists in our imagination — or, in my case, always a couple of years in the future.

You could only fail

• You fail, if you get up to late and miss your „morning ritual“
• You fail if there is no „million € at age 30“.
• You fail with your „perfect body“
• You have to liquidate friends and partners if not useful for personal growth.
• Time not spent productively was a failure, either of willpower, planning or your whole being ((body, mind & soul)

I will end with a quote from Isaiah Berlin.

“My talk … was intended to argue that the pursuit of a single, final, universal solution to human problems was a mirage. There are many ideals worth pursuing, some of them are incompatible with one another, but the idea of an all-embracing solution to all human problems which, if there is too much resistance to it, might need force to secure it, only tends to lead to bloodshed and the increase of human misery. … I believe that there is nothing more destructive of human lives than fanatical conviction about the perfect life*, allied to political or military power. Our century affords terrible evidence of this truth. I believe in working for a minimally decent society.”

If your perfect life is always just around the next corner and xyz come true, it could be, that you will wait for a long time.

It could be, if you pause for long enough and breathe, you just realize that there is a pretty decent life already here, just under your feet.